Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
This beer is not sobering me up at all
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
