You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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