i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize