There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
