You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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