Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
