No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
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Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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