I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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