if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
