I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
