Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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