Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
