i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
