So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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