is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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