I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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