We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
