You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize