8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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