Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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