What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
