Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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