I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I have fence marks all over my body
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
