No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize