She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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