Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
