8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
