is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
