oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
