I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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