just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
