Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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