pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
