idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
