dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize