nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
