Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.

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  (212): mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you. http://tfl.nu/gr31
  Replies (14) Good night (965) Bad night (3738)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it

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  (802): you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it http://tfl.nu/ykku
  Replies (27) Good night (3478) Bad night (695)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.

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  (804): girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe. http://tfl.nu/ztj4
  Replies (42) Good night (10135) Bad night (982)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono

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  (313): And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono http://tfl.nu/k8o2
  Replies (17) Good night (3940) Bad night (1942)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes

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  (903): I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes http://tfl.nu/cr2r
  Replies (54) Good night (2860) Bad night (6115)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.

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  (312): i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it. http://tfl.nu/r7km
  Replies (12) Good night (6005) Bad night (1078)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting

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  (201): i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting http://tfl.nu/qjw5
  Replies (7) Good night (1182) Bad night (3959)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.

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  (860): I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night. http://tfl.nu/69i0
  Replies (57) Good night (1502) Bad night (6846)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.

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  (801): He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me. http://tfl.nu/9uhs
  Replies (33) Good night (6175) Bad night (1778)
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  (925): View more from California

  You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.

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  (925): You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure. http://tfl.nu/nboc
  Replies (4) Good night (605) Bad night (1060)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.

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  (832): Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL. http://tfl.nu/25yr
  Replies (3) Good night (1767) Bad night (515)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I think he's speaking German to me now

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly

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  (519): I think he's speaking German to me now (519): Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly http://tfl.nu/dbru
  Replies (1) Good night (903) Bad night (351)
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  (213): View more from California

  I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.

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  (213): I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever. http://tfl.nu/344l
  Replies (1) Good night (952) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  Hahahah pickled

  (207): View more from Maine

  I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.

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  (207): She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect. (1-207): Hahahah pickled (207): I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water. http://tfl.nu/9g1y
  Replies (1) Good night (307) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.

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  (304): My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time. http://tfl.nu/ngqr
  Replies (2) Good night (1146) Bad night (256)

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