Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way

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  (847): this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way http://tfl.nu/rl6u
  Replies (221) Good night (2634) Bad night (28603)
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  (805): View more from California

  Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?

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  (805): Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself? http://tfl.nu/fcpr
  Replies (19) Good night (1141) Bad night (2765)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.

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  (514): Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight. http://tfl.nu/evaz
  Replies (19) Good night (998) Bad night (4631)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.

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  (765): Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom. http://tfl.nu/gaio
  Replies (32) Good night (3382) Bad night (5941)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.

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  (613): She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard". (202): Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded. http://tfl.nu/4upv
  Replies (39) Good night (6968) Bad night (1159)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.

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  (702): sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick. http://tfl.nu/022f
  Replies (14) Good night (1031) Bad night (4551)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Don't worry. I has chaperone.

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  (270): Don't worry. I has chaperone. http://tfl.nu/r0c5
  Replies (24) Good night (6254) Bad night (1312)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.

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  (336): okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style. http://tfl.nu/uhtz
  Replies (10) Good night (5192) Bad night (1019)
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  (707): View more from California

  I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots

  (1-707): View more from California

  You did like 8

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  (707): I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots (1-707): You did like 8 http://tfl.nu/2yf9
  Replies (6) Good night (2872) Bad night (706)
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  (310): View more from California

  Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again

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  (310): Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again http://tfl.nu/9kfj
  Replies (7) Good night (508) Bad night (1352)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.

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  (843): He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals. http://tfl.nu/0dw2
  Replies (8) Good night (1640) Bad night (881)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.

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  (506): I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work. http://tfl.nu/gsqk
  Replies (1) Good night (422) Bad night (700)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol

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  (732): you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol http://tfl.nu/3eay
  Replies (2) Good night (671) Bad night (351)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married

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  (409): He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married http://tfl.nu/v15x
  Replies (5) Good night (361) Bad night (835)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)

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  (586): I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney) http://tfl.nu/i7fk
  Replies (3) Good night (629) Bad night (213)

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