Michael Bay diarrhea
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.