so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.