GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
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Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
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We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.