spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho