i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"