Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
