i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize