Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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