I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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