it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
