I must be too annoying 4 u.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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