She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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