I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
