her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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