We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
