Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
operation have a gay friend backfired
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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