Redeem this text for a blowjob
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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