I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
