we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
