I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
