Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My vagina is officially offended.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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