he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
