I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize