the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
