As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
