we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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