You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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