i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
