i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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