Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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