I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
