So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
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I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
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You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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