I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
